Think of a happy day, person, or memory. Your goal here is to take yourself out of this sad moment. Giving yourself a short break is sometimes all you need to stop those tears in their tracks. Have you ever felt that lump in your throat when you felt tears coming? This lump is a normal bodily reaction. However, to soothe this feeling and distract yourself, sip water slowly. Taking sips gets rid of that dreaded lump in your throat feeling.
Focus on something mundane, like a wall or an ordinary object. This short reprieve might be all you need to help you calm down. Your handbag, jewelry, clothing, or even someone else nearby can all be good options to prevent crying. Finally, knowing what to expect at a funeral can ease your feelings as well. Having an idea of what will be happening, whether there will be an open casket, and so on, is the best way to prepare yourself. How do you know what to expect?
Research funeral customs, cultural practices, and religious traditions. Aside from this, you can also ask the family hosting the funeral what the service will be like. There is usually a service program for the funeral process. Finally, remind yourself that crying at a funeral is a natural part of the grieving process. In fact, some cultures include crying as part of the wake etiquette. Crying for the deceased is often thought of as a sign of respect to the person and the family.
If you need help embracing your feelings, try these steps. Funerals are a chance to lean on each other and come closer together. A healthy support group makes these emotions easier to process. Finally, remember that crying is a natural part of the grieving process. When we cry, we express how we feel physically. Every person expresses grief differently.
The most significant part of the grieving process is time. In fact, crying can be useful. Hi Emily, I am so very sorry for your loss. I hope this post has communicated to you that it is completely normal and acceptable to feel numb and detached in the face of loss. I understand that this experience is unnerving and uncomfortable, but please be gentle with yourself and allow yourself to feel whatever it is that you feel.
J November 24, at am Reply. Sara, I am so sorry for your loss. Things may never get fully better, but they will get easier with time. For now, be gentle with yourself. Know that feeling numb is a normal and valid part of the grieving process and that there is nothing wrong with you. All the best. Amy October 7, at am Reply. IsabelleS October 7, at am Reply. Amy, I am so sorry for the multiple losses you have experienced.
I cannot even begin to imagine the tremendous pain you are enduring. I want you to know that your feelings of numbness are completely acceptable. I hope this blog shows you just how normal it is to feel nothing after loss. Please be gentle with yourself and do not judge that you are feeling numb. Frank Fletcher September 23, at pm Reply. IsabelleS September 24, at am Reply. Hi Frank, I am so sorry for the loss of your mother and for the pain you are experiencing.
I know it may not feel like it, but everything you are feeling is completely normal. Cindy September 14, at am Reply. My husband died a week ago after a very surprising cancer diagnosis. He died within less than two weeks. While he was sick, I was in anguish. Now that he is gone, I cannot feel anything.
Nothing seems to matter anymore because it feels like Armageddon. I feel guilty that I am more worried about our world than anything. Emily December 2, at pm Reply. My mum died of cancer when I was six. The world is mean. IsabelleS December 3, at pm. I cannot even begin to imagine the pain you are feeling.
Be gentle with yourself as you navigate your grief. Sam August 11, at am Reply. It should make me sad. Asheley August 20, at pm Reply. Cindy September 14, at am. Boy, I am right there with you. This is an other-worldly experience. I wish I could be of help. I am joining a grief group. Would that be something helpful for you? Ashlie August 30, at pm Reply. I lost my 11 week old son last week.
I had already been experiencing terrible postpartum depression prior. I feel numb, but also angry at myself for not reacting the way everyone else is. I feel wrong for staring at a wall while my husband collapses to the ground in tears.
Dorothy August 5, at am Reply. We lost our son on July 10th he was 30 years old. He died alone. It took 10 days before we could has a service, limited to 40 people, no visitation. The first time we saw him was a hour before the service began. It was heartbreaking to tell family and friends not to attend.
The service was live-streamed. Numbness and waves of grief. Ayushi July 3, at pm Reply. Isaiah Owles July 24, at am Reply. Jen Del Rosario August 4, at am. I am sorry for your loss. I understand what you are going through. It has been 3 weeks since my brother had ended his own life as well. I am seeking for answers but I know I will never find it. Akshay samuel July 24, at pm Reply. Well same this side..
My mum passed away on June She had cancer.. I am still numb to this day. But I want to honour her life. I dedicate my everyday to her for rest of my life. Ciara August 14, at pm Reply. My mother died on 16 june , tuesday.. The reason was a sudden heart attack and the worst part was that i saw her struggling and i loath myself for not knowing what to do.. My brother picked up my mother and went to the hospital in the car … me and my small brother waited at the house..
My aunt who lives close to our house came and stayed with us …My father directly went to the hospital and then we both waited and tried to call them but they did not pick up the phone and finally they called and said that she was fine afterwards after midnight they came home and said she was fine and my father asked me to sleep and said that you have to wake up early tomorrow to meet her in the hospital.. But in the early morning i came know that she died right then when she reached the hospital ….
I cried so hard at that time but then i was numb it is so hard to describe what i feel , i still hate myself for being like this.. And i think that my brother thinks that i am taking it very normally and he repeatedly said that our mother is gone and he also asked me why am i not crying..
Since my colleges entrance exam are coming i am preparing for it , dedicatedly…. I am doing all the house work that i can i do and i am also laughing , smiling.. Litsa July 5, at pm Reply. Ayushi — there is never reason to give up.
As a family, there is a chance to better learn to understand that we all grieve differently. This can be hard at the beginning, but with time it can become easier for people to support one another. A few weeks is no time at all — many people are very shocked and numb early on. Be gentle with yourself and, if in a month or two you are still feeling this numbness, it may be helpful to speak with a grief professional. And please, if you are ever thinking of giving up, call or initiate and online chat with the national suicide hotline.
Gary July 3, at am Reply. I see it all differently. These events add up and your mental health forms a numbness for your own survival. Just my thoughts and experience. I know that no one wants to hear that and everyone wants to feel those emotions. But you down deep as a human wants you to survive every thing that life throws at you as bad as it can be! But the problem is that, by avoiding the difficult emotions, we often have to cut off access to the positive memories as well.
So it becomes a trade-off — do we keep ourselves in a numb, middle ground, with few highs or lows, or do we try to learn to tolerate some of the lows so we can access some of the highs? Kat September 28, at am Reply. I agree with you. IsabelleS September 28, at am. Hi Kat, I am so sorry for the tremendous pain that you are experiencing. I know it may be hard to believe, but what you are feeling right now is so normal.
I hope this helps. Catarina January 26, at am Reply. My dad passed away unexpectedly 2 weeks ago. My husband just found out his cancer is back. I feel completely numb. My 2 worse fears in life was losing both of them, now I face the possibility of it happening. I get up and go to work. I take care of all the things you need to do after a death, but I feel nothing. I just wish I could cry. Isabelle Siegel January 26, at am. Nonetheless, I know this can be extremely difficult to experience.
I want you to know that, no matter what, you are not alone in your feelings. S May 29, at am Reply. Thank you for this. I only just got discharged from a psych unit yesterday after a month stuck in hospital. She died just an hour or so after her chemo was administered.
It was only really one of her first few, the chemo only started about a month ago. We have only known about the cancers since January or February.
Im a bit lost. Sarah May 26, at pm Reply. I am so glad I found this post. Roxy May 20, at pm Reply. My gran passed away suddenly and unexpectedly 2 days ago. We were very close, very bonded. I feel empty. I Just want to feel something. Laura Gustoson May 7, at pm Reply.
My best friend and husband passed away March 28th, with severe symptoms of Covid and a condition underlying it that we knew nothing about, which was Chronic lymphocytic Leukemia.. My mother was an Alcoholic, and she let me know at age seven that I was unwanted. My husband let me know that I was wanted and cared for by him. He brought me to therapists to heal from all the trauma of my life. He was also a veteran and he was drafted into a war where they used Agent Orange which is known to cause the kind of Leukemia that he had.
His work insurance had a high deductible which made it unaffordable for him to get health care. Otherwise, with health care he could have survived the Leukemia, his doctor at the hospital explained. I had some hope before he passed away, and I began a school program. Thank you all! Matthew May 4, at pm Reply. I felt numb for a few days after my father died. Over the 10 years it ripped my heart out and I cried hundreds of times.
I just felt numb. Greg May 3, at pm Reply. I just saw your comment from earlier today. Grace April 14, at am Reply. My husband died suddenly in a single car accident a couple of days ago. He was banged up but was going to be fine and so was his cousin that was also with them. His wife offers to go with me to the hospitals and look for him. I decline and start calling hospitals and then our local police.
Not being able to find him and the police insisting that someone will call be back after calling every hour for several hours and leaving messages. Finally I get a call back and I am told that he did not survive the wreck asnd my next step was to make arrangements for his funeral and the tears poured out of me.
I immediately call his brother because I was unsure of how to break the news to his mother. Is that selfish of me? I am annoyed and bothered but not crying in grief. I feel awful about it a have good relationship with my in-laws.
Greg April 14, at pm Reply. This is such a difficult time for you, with the grief over losing your husband, the arrangements to be made, and the fact that your friends and relatives will all be grieving at the same time, on their own emotional schedule.
Ashley Rochelle March 25, at am Reply. It has been helpful to read these posts. My mom passed away a week ago after a traumatic 6 week stay in the hospital. She passed away in a hospice house and I was in the room by myself with her when it happened. I will never be able to forget it. Like many of you have said, I just feel completely numb. I am an extremely emotional person by nature so this is very abnormal for me. It helps at the time but then the next morning I always feel depressed.
When my mom went into the hospital my baby was only 2 weeks old and I was still bleeding. Any advice is appreciated. Terri Lee March 27, at am Reply. I was also with her when she passed away suddenly and cried that night as well, but like you I thought I would be a basket case on the floor in a ball the next day.
But I had to do the arrangements so I thought after that it will hit me, then I thought maybe after the funeral last Monday it would sink in and again like you the only feeling I have is absolute numbness and brain fog.
I had been goggling these weird feelings and came across this website. I loved my Mum very much and that is why this feeling is so hard to accept. I think it helps to know that I am not alone in these feeling and I maybe in time we will grieve in our own way. But I can honestly say I know exactly how you are feeling. Sally March 29, at am. I have just been reading your posts and totally relate to these. She has battled with this for many years. Although we knew she was close to the end.
I felt broken hearted and now I am starting to feel nothing. Like it is someone else or a bad dream. But I started to feel like I was heartless and hoped the funeral would help. I have cried but I have switched off in a way and now feel nothing. Emma April 2, at pm Reply. I lost my aunty one week ago tonight. The first two days all i did was cry and now nothing. She was a twin and my other aunty is devastated. They lived together and we where all so close.
I was with her almost every day and I miss her so much. Her funeral is tomo and there is only 15 of us allowed.
She was such an amazing women who loved and cared for everyone. Greg April 5, at am. I too am currently feeling numb; my mom passed away on Tuesday due to the coronavirus. So I thought maybe I was in shock, and scheduled another appointment for Thursday with my therapist.
Well, on Wednesday, I had my first big cry. About 30 minutes straight. At least for me, I found that it was much more helpful to do that than just crying without talking. So that worried me too. When I got more tears out on Thursday, my ears got back to normal. But so a few hours ago tonight, I started feeling numb again. Haley February 26, at pm Reply.
I just lost my mother on the 22nd. She was only 47 years old and it was completely out of the blue. We were so, so, SO close. We shopped together all the time and now I dont know how Ill ever be able to do that again either.
Im only 22 years old and have no idea what Im going to do without my mom. I love her so much. But some days I just feel so empty, and completely devoid of emotion.
Its the worst feeling, Id rather be sobbing. Caitee February 24, at pm Reply. My best friend died on Feb 22nd. We had been friends since kindergarten, so about 15 years. The day I found out I was absolutely devastated and I cried all that day and yesterday. But today I feel nothing. I dont wanna talk to anyone or be around anyone. I dont want to do anything. Sharry Wood January 26, at pm Reply.
He was 22 years old and special needs. I was very sudden and unexpected. I was there with him when he died at home. He seemed to have a cold. He was pronounced at home. I lost it. Very emotional. Cried everyday and then I stopped. I am very sad and love and miss him more than I could ever explain.
Rayne January 23, at pm Reply. I think maybe it is some type of survival instinct we have. Lea January 23, at pm Reply. Nothing compares to losing a child, I feel I only have empathy for parents who are experiencing the same pain. Sharon Walker January 17, at pm Reply. Jayden January 10, at am Reply. I just want to say everything is really hard because our whole family lost a special 19 year old to us the day after christmas.
He was someone who if you bbn let him be apart of your life he would be like a brother to you because he was just that type of nice person. Robyn December 17, at pm Reply. I lost my mother 2 weeks ago today after a short illness 4 days. I lost my Mom 4 days age and didnt even miss work. I also became a Grandma on Dec 4th. I am a nurse and see death everyday. I havn;t bonded with my gGrandson, I ended up coding him at home. He surved. I asumed I was gaurding myself with him and love would develope as he grew stronger.
Now this with my Mom. I dont really know why? Im usually over emotional. Now Im empty. Ben Grogan December 14, at am Reply. Well specifically 2 strokes and a heart attack — they had to excise a full hemisphere of his brain so there is no hope of him ever needing anything less than full medical care. The man raised me to be the best person I could be, empathetic without being overly emotional — always trying to understand what the other side was thinking or feeling at any given time.
Misty P November 18, at pm Reply. I lost my son suddenly to drug-induced suicide in July at age I am now at the point of emotional numbness.
I feel like I have ADD now. I think I went back to work too soon, about two weeks later. Its all just too much for me right now. I fear that I will forget what he looked like, or how his laugh sounded. He was my firstborn, my only son. I have two younger daughters. The holidays are approaching and not having him with us will be difficult.
I was recently remarried. He was supposed to walk me down the aisle. I feel like a piece of me is gone. I have an amazing support system around me and that has helped. And my relationship with God has kept me going. Not seeing him or talking to him for so long is hard to deal with. Its just surreal that he is gone and that I will never see him again. Felicia December 3, at pm Reply. I am praying for you! I have a teen son who feels extremely hopeless and I have done so much for him , therapy, talking, meds, listening, supportive….
Please try to fight those feelings of guilt; you can be the best and most involved parent, and still not get through to them completely. God bless you! Elizabeth January 11, at am Reply. I am so sorry to hear about the loss of your son. He was too young and it sounds like you loved him dearly. The mother son bond is something beautiful. I lost my dad last Christmas to a very rare type of cancer called Liposarcoma. Him and I were extremely close and he had just recently given my boyfriend his blessing for ya to get married.
He was the person I turned to for everything and we were so much alike. I hope things get better for you and you can find some peace with your sons passing. My prayers are with you.
Tracey Maule January 18, at am Reply. MistyP I feel your words so powerfully. My son michael was killed in a crash October I want to cry. The brittleness of my existence is just scary. I read your post and felt like I wrote it. Your firstborn. Michael was mine as well. Life feels l in e a duty. I wish you every good thought and piece of happiness and love you can find.
Liz January 18, at pm Reply. Elaine D January 25, at am Reply. Misty, wow. I am just beside myself reading this. Today, for me is day 10 of what I am calling my new life. Life without my son. He was also 22, committed suicide — but I think it was something more than depression, maybe drugs. Nothing about his death makes sense to me. But, for the rest of the world it looks like a classic suicide unless you really knew him, and what he was like.
Anyways, I was so worried because for the last day or so I have been losing my ability to cry and be in touch with my feelings. I also have two younger daughters and I am worried that I am losing my identity. I read this article and instantly thought of a fight I picked with my husband early yesterday morning.
I have been praying, journalling, meditating, trying to sleep waking up too early , trying to eat well. Today is his memorial, and I cannot seem to feel anything but distance and disconnection. I go back to work on Monday. Sally March 14, at pm. Oh my gosh….. Nici November 16, at pm Reply. I lost my parents in a car accident and 16 years later lost my only sister to cancer. I am only now feeling the anger…..
BUT……… i do believe they are just on the other side the veil…… their music is all around us, all we have to do is listen. Michelle November 11, at am Reply.
He had died when i woke up from my sleep, i felt guilty, but to this day couldnt really feel anything else.. I sometimes think im a robot n dont hv emotions. Boss Lady November 2, at am Reply. I lost my mom in May of , and I cried a lot the first night flipping through our pictures together.
She was my best friend and it feels like I lost a piece of my soul, my consiousness sp after she died. My husband left me, I lost a good job, I had to move cities and move in with my Dad. Just completely erased her… Sometimes i will remember what her hands looked like, or how you could hear her in any isle of the grocery store bc she use to hang her keys on her purse and her key ring could rival that of a janitors. Her and I were insanely close we talked ever day usually twice, I lived with her basically my entire adult life, she was the only person in my life that will ever love me unconditionally, and without question.
That is a very sobering realization…. About a year after she died my husband left me, my dog got hit by a car and she died, then my favorite Aunt died almost a year to the day that my mom did, then I lost my best friend 2 years TO THE DAY my mother died. I lost an awesome job, had to relocate, got into a toxic relationship with an emotionally unavailable man that I fell in love with.
See what I mean though?? Downward spiral since she died. I am getting pretty tired of it. Keyan October 27, at pm Reply. Deb Boutland December 21, at pm Reply. Kenyan, if I had to guess I would say you have had a traumatic life. The numbness is a protective mechanism. I would suggest a psychologist or free counselling. Start by calling a help line for the phone numbers.
LouiseB October 21, at am Reply. She was in her fifties with learning difficulties and he always helped his elderly mum to care for her.
At the same time, his mum was very poorly too do he did everything for them. Any advice is welcome. Cherie December 7, at am Reply.
However, unresolved grief can lead to depression and other mental health problems. If you're concerned about reaching a healthy resolution to your grief, seek the help you deserve. Edward T. Creagan, M. There is a problem with information submitted for this request.
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